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How to Get Free Land in 5 Easy Steps: A Handy Guide for Imperialists and Other Reasonable Individuals


1. Eliminate Native People.

Choose the most appropriate strategies: disease, criminalization/incarceration, blood quantum, cultural genocide/forced assimilation, forced out-migration, cultivate poverty, just kill them.

2. Replace All Aspects of Native Society with Your Own.

Examples: Government & Law, Economy, Religion, Culture.

Useful code-words: Progress, Modernization, Development, Inevitable.

3. Invent Legal Instruments That Allow You to Claim Ownership of Native Lands.

Examples: Treaties (you don’t have to honor them), Annexation (doesn’t have to be legal), Referendum (rig the vote).

4. Control History

Write history the way you want people to believe it and teach it in all the schools (misinformation OK; eventually people forget what really happened).  Commemorate official history with celebrations, statues and honorific naming.  Call the whole process ‘democracy’.  Call opposing viewpoints lies and revisionism.

5. Done!  Enjoy Your New Land!*

Remember: You’ve worked hard; you deserve everything you’ve taken.  “To the victors, the spoils!”

*  Empire requires constant maintenance (repeat steps 1-4).  Failure to do so may lead to loss of control.

Visit Queers without Borders at <>. The guide that inspired this video may be downloaded in PDF at <>.

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