Jon Stewart: “The votes are officially in. How did it go?”
Reporters: “Bombs ripped through parts of Baghdad today”; “Insurgents bombed a polling station and lobbed grenades at voters. . . .”; “A rocket killed seven people”; “Dozens of explosions”; “Bombs and mortar attacks”; “Some counted as many as fifty in Baghdad alone. . . .”
Ad Melkert, UN Special Representative: “We have seen the assassination of, um, a few candidates.”
Jon Stewart: “Oh my god. That was their election day? Well, I guess, to put that another way. . . .”
Commentariat: “. . .a pivotal election that’s being held as a success. . . .”; “The process has been called a success”; “That is a success”; “A success”; “Most folks think that it’s been a big success.”
Jon Stewart: “There is a hint that we may have lowered the bar on what constitutes electoral success when the amount of candidates assassinated is described not with a specific number but as . . . ‘a few.’ Well, we lost some candidates, but, you know, more than a couple, less than a handful. I let Newsweek sum up the Iraqi elections.”
Newsweek: “Victory at Last: The Emergence of a Democratic Iraq.”
Broadcast by The Daily Show on 8 March 2010. The text above is a partial transcript of the “Arabian Rights” episode.