For Whom the Bells Jingle

This time of year, when cute reindeer
And ruddy-suited Santa
Inspire shoppers everywhere
To spend more than they’d planned-ta

We’d like to glean for MRZine
The money Santa draws,
But we are godless communists
And can’t appear bourgeois

This time of year, when Season’s cheer
Means Jesus and things votive,
We stand as godless communists
And shun the profit motive

Day after day, we’ve had no pay
Yet covered Revolution
And why Iraq is boiling-hot
And how Iran is in a spot
And whether Cheney should be shot
And other apt solutions

O there are times, we must confess
To harboring a whim — we
Like to picture old Karl Marx
Sliding down our chimney

Old Karl would give us tips on stocks
On Bechtel and Blackwater
And tell us how to buy them out
To stop the Mideast slaughter

But we are godless communists
And dreams are overrated
We know that from production’s means
We are alienated

Yes, we are godless communists
And we need money bad
So at this time we’re forced to turn
To you, our dear comrade

We are so poor, we’re on the floor
We’re begging for our future
Please give to us —
Our chops we’ll bust
Continuing the lucha

[To stop this dreck, please send a check
For we’re not indestructible —
Or give online; both ways are fine:
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Street Life of a Mad Activist Susie Day lives in New York City where she writes a humor column for feminist and gay publications. She has also written on U.S. political prisoners and labor issues and thinks her girlfriend, Laura Whitehorn, is hot stuff.  Can’t get enough of Susie?  Read other pieces by Susie Day in MRZine: Susie Day, “Fugitive Offers Reward for Rumsfeld’s Capture” (22 July 2005); “Street Life of a Mad Activist” (28 July 2005); “Waiting for Karl Rove” (9 August 2005); “A Child’s Primer of Intelligent Design” (24 August 2005); “The Flood This Time” (19 September 2005); “Things That Rise Up in the Night: A Howl-oween Treat” (18 October 2005); “President Salutes Anonymous Red-Baiter” (14 November 2005); “Conspicuous Consumption of a Mad Activist” (11 December 2005); “2006: The Year in Horrorscopes” (9 January 2006); “Visiting Herman” (7 February 2006); “Savior Self” (6 March 2006); “Pinko Plague Panics President” (4 April 2006); “Seymour Hersh and the American Brain” (2 May 2006); “Identity, Class, and Bite Me, David Horowitz” (30 May 2006); “Bugging Hillary” (19 June 2006); “Back in the USSA” (24 July 2006); “News from the Back of the Front” (21 August 2006); “Barbie at the Barricades” (20 September 2006); “How to Stay Out of Gitmo” (18 October 2006); “Ted Haggard and the Church of the Down-Low” (13 November 2006); “Police Gun Down Another Rich White Man” (11 December 2006); “Consuming Karl” (6 February 2007); “Anna Nicole Smith Bombs Iran” (6 March 2007); “Peter Pace Porks a Peck of Pinko Perverts” (2 April 2007); “Jesus Christ Weds Pat Robertson” (30 April 2007); “U.S. Troops Out of . . . ME” (30 May 2007); “Killer Lesbians Mauled by Killer Court, Media Wolf Pack” (27 June 2006); “Apartheid Americana” (23 July 2007); “Peace Movement Overthrows Government, Cheney Dies” (20 August 2007); “Honey, I Shrank the Military (Or, Who Put the ‘Pet’ in ‘Petraeus’?)” (21 September 2007); and “Poppin’ Fresh Declares Martial Law” (13 November 2007).

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