• Economy Blameless!  No. 1 Cause of Layoffs: Employees!

    Washington and Wall Street breathed a sigh of relief today at news that the economic downturn is not, in fact, responsible for a record 5.1 million job losses and an unemployment rate of 8.5%.  According to a report just released by the Institute for the Advancement of Middle Management and Human Resource Depletion, a bipartisan […]

  • Bernie Breakout Shocker!  Madoff Almost Made Off!

    Today at dawn, New York City police surprised a gang of free market fanatics just before they could set off a massive dynamite explosion that would have blown away the entire northern wall of lower Manhattan’s Metropolitan Correctional Center.  The gang members, clad in black Armani ski masks and tasteful Christian Dior jogging suits, fled […]

  • Lines in the Sand: The Mad Activist Writes Gaza

    Dear People of Gaza, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize for doing absolutely nothing in the last few months to stop your suffering. Although I cannot feel your pain, I have seen it on the news.  I’ve read that 1.5 million of you civilians endured weeks of being fired on and bombed with […]

  • No Justice, No Coat

    Want to hear something weird about the Left?  It’s chock-full of human nature.  For example: Some communist, in the dead of winter, stole my girlfriend’s coat. I take you back a few months.  A cold December.  My girlfriend and I are invited to a “holiday party,” as the Americans say.  Note how the festive noun […]

  • Unconditional Luv 4 Sale

    The queers come; they go.  All kinds.  Tall, dark, fat, thin, manic, depressive, we get ’em.  Gay men in shaky relationships.  Bisexuals solidly celibate.  Lesbians with incest memories.  Lesbians sick of listening to incest memories.  Trannies sick of hearing from gay people, “I don’t understand. . . .”  They all been cutting slack, stepping back, […]

  • Mickey Z: My Personal Trainer and Yours

    “Our community is expanding: MRZine viewers have increased in number, as have the readers of our editions published outside the United States and in languages other than English.  We sense a sharp increase in interest in our perspective and its history.   Many in our community have made use of the MR archive we put […]

  • Proposition 1984

    “Our community is expanding: MRZine viewers have increased in number, as have the readers of our editions published outside the United States and in languages other than English.  We sense a sharp increase in interest in our perspective and its history.   Many in our community have made use of the MR archive we put […]

  • Obama Picks Bill Ayers as Secretary of Defense!

    (PU) Barack Hussein Obama, newly elected President of the People’s Republic of America, today announced his choice of William Ayers, a former leader of the 70s militant antiwar group, the Weather Underground, for U.S. Secretary of Defense.  The appointment allays concerns of many peace movement progressives who had feared that Defense Secretary Robert Gates, overseer […]

  • The Mad Activist’s Declaration of Codependence

    The sages of History say, Know Thyself — and I do.  I used to be a peace activist, but thanks to the sages of pop-psychology, I see now that I am a codependent. Yet I refuse to be your ordinary, run-of-the-mill codependent, who’s stuck in a crappy relationship with just one needy, abusive individual.  I […]

  • Pre-Election Attack of the Pro-Life Killer Fetus!

    (PU)  The City of New York, still reeling from falling cranes, broken water mains, and the Republican presidential ticket, was forced to cope with yet another hard-hitting reality last Tuesday, as a giant human fetus of indeterminate sex and race suddenly appeared out of nowhere and began a rampage through midtown Manhattan. Estimated to be […]

  • Jesse Helms and the Theater of the Depraved

    On July 8, the resplendently Caucasian, flag-loving, fag-hating, five-term Senator Jesse Helms exited the political scene, stage right, to begin his long-awaited dirt nap.  All the world being a stage, a host of players, including Dick Cheney and John and Cindy McCain, assembled sorrowfully near the starred-and-striped coffin containing the body of the hidebound conservative […]

  • Sex sans the City (A Post-Marxist Preview)

    Many capitalist roaders say the Left is out of touch with popular culture.  Well, I say NYET to that!  Here, for instance, is an episode of Sex and the City that I translated for my Marxist-Leninist study group, so that we may better throw off our Tiffany chains. [Scene I: Chic, Upper West Side restaurant] […]

  • Gone with the “W”

    Hillary Rodham Clinton was not a liberal, but the news media seldom realized it when surrounded by campaign placards and press kits, as a throng of reporters in the Oval Office were on this bright, cold day in January 2009. “Fiddle dee dee, I can’t tell you people apart,” chirped Hillary, her blue eyes fluttering […]

  • Ask Ms. Liberty: Advice for the War-Torn

    Although it’s been over five years since the United States invaded Iraq, a few non-patriots among us refuse to understand or endorse our wartime zeitgeist.  I have, therefore, persuaded our noble, statuesque Icon of America to gas up her torch and shed some light on a few selfish queries posed by our huddled, recalcitrant masses. […]

  • The Revolution Will Not Be Workshopped

    WHOA — I just found out that the Left Forum — a conference attracting thousands of progressive activists and scholars — is happening this month in Manhattan.  That means we pinkos and queers get one last chance to liberate society through thought provoking workshops and panels!  I sure hope the Forum’s organizers snap up my […]

  • Our Blob in the White House

    (PU) In a move that may indicate some internal disarray within the GOP, Karl Rove, former Deputy Chief of Staff to President Bush, called a press conference today to announce a new candidate in the Republican Party’s lineup of Presidential contenders. “McCain, Romney, they’re OK,” said Mr. Rove, renowned for his ingenious campaign strategies.  “But […]

  • Croakin’ on Hudson

    Last December, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and other state officials announced that the Indian Point nuclear power plant, 35 miles north of New York City, should be shut down. They almost spoiled your Christmas.  Giant blinking reindeer, strings of electric bulbs, and amplified Brenda Lee recordings could have been ripped from your power grid, […]

  • Miracle on Pennsylvania Avenue: Santa Confirmed as FBI Head

    “O there are times, we must confess To harboring a whim — we Like to picture old Karl Marx Sliding down our chimney” — Susie Day “Help fund the good fight.   By contributing to MR, you help reinforce the left and reclaim the future.” — Richard D. Vogel “To do my part, I just […]

  • For Whom the Bells Jingle

    This time of year, when cute reindeer And ruddy-suited Santa Inspire shoppers everywhere To spend more than they’d planned-ta We’d like to glean for MRZine The money Santa draws, But we are godless communists And can’t appear bourgeois This time of year, when Season’s cheer Means Jesus and things votive, We stand as godless communists […]

  • Poppin’ Fresh Declares Martial Law

    Poppin’ Fresh, chubby little standard-bearer for the mass marketing of lip-smacking glutens, interrupted regularly scheduled TV programming today at 8:46 a.m. to announce the imposition of martial law across the continental United States. “Now, don’t you folks go out of your homes, and don’t you try to stop those roundups in the streets — we’ve […]